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See the Inner Patriarch page for more information on the characteristics of these two destructive characters and to learn how to identify them at work inside you.
Characteristics of the inner matriarch.
The overriding characteristics of the inner matriarch is that even when she sets up her house inside a man’s inner village, she remains scornful of men, all men, the way they think and act and feel. Her overriding loyalty even in a man, is towards women. Typically, an inner matriarch will take the side of another inner matriarch living nearby in another person's inner village, in preference to the male in whose village she has set up her house.
If you talk to your Inner Matriarch you will notice she is unlike other inner selves,
because she does not seem to be concerned with the well-
In a way it's as though she is carrying within her the resentment of 40,000 years of male domination. Typically her attitude is one of justifiable resentment against all men even the most vulnerable inner male child.
Punishing the male inner child
To punish a male, any male is her way of avenging this. By itself, the fact that an inner child is a male is sufficient reason to apply pain or punishment. The matriarch also specialises in punishing male inner children in nearby villages. However, as this article explains, her worst punishments are applied the wounded inner child who lives in your own inner village. Perhaps this is because she has a precise knowledge of that individual child, what aspects about him of are the most wounded and therefore the most likely to feel the punishment.
She knows just where to stick her dagger
One of the most easily identifiable characteristics of the Inner Matriarch is the way she knows exactly where the stick her dagger to inflict the greatest pain on your wounded child. She will study males around her, noticing their weakest points, the things that irritate them the most, what words create the strongest sense of vulnerability in the male. She is an expert at identifying an exiled or disowned character in a male and taking on that same characteristic, something that is guaranteed to cause disharmony in a relationship.
Example: Jill’s new partner Jack is very non-
Jack is unable to stop himself reacting negatively, in fact the usual reaction is for his inner patriarch to leap in and increase the intensity of the battle by explaining to Jill just how “foolish she is to make such an unfounded judgement.” That won’t help, but it can stir up a real hornet’s nest.
The scene is now set for a full on fight. Jack and Jill think they are fighting but in fact it’s the inner matriarch and patriarch who are running the show. The outcome may well be the destruction of what was shaping up as a good relationship.
Keep in mind that one of the core goals of both the inner patriarch and the inner
matriarch is to prevent men and women from having close, grown-
In this example the relationship is headed for the wrecker’s yard unless Jack and
Jill know about their four inner patriarchs and inner matriarchs and can step back
and notice who has taken over. If both Jack and Jill can just move into self-
See the Inner Patriarch page for a comparison of what is happening for Jill in the same situation and more information on the characteristics of these two destructive characters and to learn how to identify them at work inside you.
See Dealing with Toxic Inner Matriarch and Toxic Inner Patriarch
Learn how you can deal with your Inner Matriarch by minimising her power over you for ever!
Learn how you can deal with your Inner Patriarch by minimising his power over you for ever!
